Is SW/Porn right for you?
I have seen so many people come and go. This article is based on my observations and experience. It’s not academia.
Who is this article for?
People thinking about sex work.
If you are in survival mode, you have no good options and this article isn’t for you. It’s for people who have the option to NOT DO IT. Hopefully some of them will realise it isn’t for them, and avoid a huge mistake. It’s also not about the nuts and bolts of making money, or the businesses process – for which the TLDR is “it’s a lot harder than you think, esp online sex work”.
Me? I love this world. But, it isn’t for everyone.
MOST IMPORTANT – take a good long look at yourself and your motives. Sex Work can be a huge mistake, one that can seriously damage your mental health, and can put you at physical risk.
Don’t do it unless it’s for positive reasons of self fulfillment and being true to yourself. That might sound crazy, but it’s true. If you want to get fucked up, do sex work for the wrong reasons – money and fame are wrong reasons. Money and fame are side effects of the right reasons, if you’re lucky..
Some people get into sex work as a reaction to other things in their lives. Sex work as therapy practice. Even if that’s not quite how it seems at the time. It might work for you, but it’s a crazy high risk way of dealing with things. If this sounds like you, please try something else first!
WHILE IN SEX WORK – be enthusiastically in up to your limits, or be OUT. Sex work is work, but it isn’t just another job. It can take a mental toll, and that becomes very likely if you start working beyond your limits.
LIMITS – know them, stick to them. They might change over time but trust me, going past your limits when you don’t really want to, is bad for the mental health.
Porn (and camming) – you should love the fact that people will see you. If this isn’t a turn on, don’t do it. Because once you do porn, it stays done, it stays out there and it NEVER goes away. OWN IT. There is no such thing as a secret OnlyFans or camming on the QT.
Seriously, you have to be turned on by knowing that other people are watching you fuck. They’re watching, you’re DOING. You’re where they wish they could be. If that isn’t you, my advice is don’t do porn.
Also, how are you with family, friends, and EMPLOYERS finding out? You need to be sure you are Ok with that and fine with, for example, getting sacked. And your porn might not be making you any money either. So, be careful.
IMO one of the biggest changes has been that porn has gone from something only complete rebels did, and they had to work hard to find find a way in, (it wasn’t easy even for girls to find their way to the right people, what with it being against the law, and yes, I am that old…), so no one did porn by accident. Everyone went in eyes open. Now, it’s almost too easy to set up an OnlyFans and be distributing porn that will be out there forever. Porn I am in, from the 90’s, is still out there, online.
Escorting – frankly, if you’re not an adrenaline junkie, escorting is going to do your head in. Meeting strangers 1-2-1 and fucking them is means being mad vulnerable. You can take all the precautions you like, at the back of your mind you’ll know it could all go wrong.
I used to go into the mountains in winter solo hiking. Nothing too serious, but enough to need an ice axe. And before mobile phones. I was very careful to minimise risks, but yes, a bad fall would have killed me. It was great. I loved it. But most people, even most climbers, don’t. That’s why you can have an entire mountain to yourself in winter, when it’s got hundreds of people on it in summer.
Basically, even if you start escorting OK, if you start to find yourself getting stressed, bail. I’ve seen women lose their mental health like this, self medicate with drink or drugs and, well, not good.
The escorts I know who have done it long term, and thrived, they love sex. Not all the sex, but enough to view the cock as a living dildo and the job generally pleasant. They also don’t take any shit, and if they think they are under threat, they are all teeth and claws, not playing dead.
If you want to escort, take precautions, and SAVE ALL YOUR MONEY. That way if you do decide it isn’t a long term thing, you’ll get out with something worth having – somewhere between funding for a course or a big house deposit.
Controlling Boyfriends – if this getting into this is coming from your BF, just dump his arse. It has to come from you, or it’s a mistake.
Straight Guys Escorting – for you it’s simple. Escorting will almost certainly be a bust.
Straight Guys Porn – it’s very hard to get into and you need the right motivation. Which is that you really are exhibitionist. Not “I want to fuck the hot girls”, but “I want to be SEEN to be fucking all the women”.
Gay Guys – not an area I know much about.
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